Stop your children being depressed

Diposkan oleh rutusibande | 2:39 PM

News that modern life is making a million British youngsters mentally ill will have shocked parents across the nation. The youngsters between five and 16 suffer problems such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, antisocial behaviour and binge-drinking, according to a report published by the Children's Society. So what's gone wrong? How can this have happened when today's kids have a better standard of living, more possessions and so many more opportunities than their parents?

What's going on?
A new and wider set of stresses seems to have replaced the old ones. Kids cited pressure at school from too many tests, bullying, the desire to look good and poor relationships with families as reasons they felt down. School children are now formally tested more than ever, bullies are more sophisticated, using mobile phones and the web to reach their victims, airbrushed models and celebs in magazines provide kids with unachievable goals when it comes to looks, and the rise in obesity means body image is more of an issue than ever before.
Added to this, parents are so busy that their children are missing out not just on affection but a lack of guidance. Family breakdown against this background can send an already stressed child into meltdown.The government has drawn up a 10-year "children's plan", with aims including the end of Sats tests in England by 2009, an investment of £160m for sport, drama and art for young people, and better support for parents and children during and after family breakdown. Meanwhile, here's how to help keep your child healthy and happy.

BULLYING ALMOST LED ME TO SUICIDE
Stephen Sellers, 16 from Burry Port, Carmarthen, considered suicide after being bullied for much of his childhood.
He says: "I was bullied at school from the age of five. I was a bit overweight and kids called me names like Fatty and Tubby. As I got older, the abuse got worse and became more physical. They'd punch and hit me. I just wanted to hide and I became very depressed. By the time I was 13, I'd had so many years of feeling rubbish that I didn't want to live any more. I took a bread knife up to my room and sat on my bed, ready to slash my wrists. It was only thinking about my family that stopped me killing myself.
Eventually I plucked up the courage to tell my family and teachers. I hadn't before because I was so ashamed. They were really great and helped build me back up. The friends I did have started to stick up for me, and I began to concentrate on school work and set myself goals. I ended up being head boy.
The bullies are still in the school, but I just ignore them. I feel comfortable with who I am and what I've achieved, so depression is no longer a problem.
I've also set up an anti-bullying scheme at school, where older kids support younger ones with problems and I plan to set up an anti-bullying website too."
For help and advice visit www.beatbullying.org

Help your child
Talk to your children - only six out of 10 children regularly confide in their parents.
Eat together when possible - only one in three UK families eat together (the lowest ratio in Europe).
Help them to think positively - for instance: "You aren't bad at football; you've just had a bad day". Research shows children with a pessimistic outlook are prone to depression. Research also shows that children can be taught to be emotionally resilient, have self-control and develop the habit of handling negative thoughts.
Exercise with your child - swim, go to the gym or have a family day out cycling or walking. Studies show that regular exercise is as good as antidepressants for mild-to-moderate depression.
Eat foods rich in vitamin B6, such as turkey, meat, liver, eggs and seafood, to raise levels of serotonin, a feel good chemical in the brain. Concentrate on natural carbohydrates such as rice, whole meal bread, porridge, fruit and vegetables, which stimulate positive mood hormones.
Contact the Young Minds Parents' information service on 0800 018 2138 or visit www.youngminds.org.uk

The report's findings
Nearly one in three children aged 14 to 16 say they feel depressed
One in five worry about their physical health. Seven out of 10 are so anxious about their appearance that they diet some or all of the time. Nearly half of children with emotional disorders fall significantly behind at school. More than a quarter of teenagers feel low. One in five teens feel "bad" or "really bad" about themselves and their lives.

What's up?
Stress of exams and school work
Peer pressure to keep up with the latest fashion and technology trends, and related bullying
Ever-higher expectations from parents
Worry about appearance made worse by unrealistic comparisons to airbrushed models and celebs
Anxiety about weight
Pressure caused by family break-ups - not just the emotional fall-out but the stress caused by practical arrangements such as splitting time between parents' houses
Lack of parental control
Lack of physical activity and isolation caused by playing computer games rather than football
Watch out for the signs...
Depressed children or teens may:
Become difficult to control
Have difficulty concentrating and lose interest in work and play
Refuse to go to school
Complain they're bored or lonely all the time
Be much more moody and irritable than normal
Become withdrawn, giving up on hobbies and friends
Not eat enough or overeat
Have low self-esteem
Hang around with the "wrong crowd"
Take drugs or get drunk
Become preoccupied with thoughts of death
Harm themselves
One or two signs on their own could be a passing phase but if your child shows three, four or more, seek medical advice.
Tell us how you've coped with troubled kids here

Additional research: Caroline Jones

Source : Miriam Stoppard

Getting the most from your Health Insurance Plan

Diposkan oleh rutusibande | 12:13 PM

Though it is essential that Californians have health insurance, it is equally or more vital that they understand their policies so they may fully utilize the coverage to which they are entitled.

All California residents should be aware by now of how important it is to have health insurance. But once you have obtained the right coverage for you and your loved ones, how do you make the most of it? Below are some suggestions on how to get the best value for your healthcare dollar.

First, no matter what type of plan you are a part of, make sure to have a doctor you can trust, and one with whom you feel comfortable interacting. Your insurance company’s website can be a great resource for selecting a provider who is right for you. For example, choosing the right obstetrician is a big part of having a happy, healthy pregnancy. Find out as much as you can about the doctor – how long have they been in practice? What is their attitude about pain relief during labor? Will they, personally, be there for your entire pregnancy, labor and delivery, or are there others doctors with whom they "share" patients?

Once you are comfortable with your choice of a provider, take a moment to ask yourself what you expect from the visit. Make a list of symptoms and concerns you want to address. Ask the doctor if he or she recommends any tests for people of your age, background and/or health history. Many insurance plans cover routine tests such as cholesterol checks.

Take advantage of your health insurance provider’s website to research any health issues that are impacting your life. You can often find online support groups, heart healthy diet tips, and treatment options. Using all the resources your health insurance offers will make you a better informed, and thriftier, healthcare consumer.

Finding the cheapest car insurance

Diposkan oleh rutusibande | 2:23 PM

It is a known fact that many consumers are paying more then is necessary for car insurance as many will not bother to seek a variety of quotes prior to renewing their car insurance to find the cheapest car insurance. There are of course a number of other ways that could save you a vast amount of money.

These include fitting an insurer recommended or approved alarm and an immobiliser as this will help to increase your security and should help to keep down your car insurance costs. It is worth noting that some insurers may also insist on a sophisticated tracking device being fitted before they will insure a particularly expensive car, but this is unlikely to be the case for many of us.

Changing the excess you are willing to pay for on any claim will also keep costs down as the more you are willing to spend for in the event of an accident, the lower your premium maybe. With many insurance policies there may be a number of extras that you are paying for that you do not really need, as these will increase your premiums.

The less your motor insurance company has to provide should you be involved in an accident or your car damaged that the lower your premium will be. Where you park you car, especially overnight, can also have a big impact on your premium since many vehicle thefts will occur during the night so if you can keep you car in a garage then your insurance costs will be reduced as a consequence. Parking on a driveway is also considered to reduce the risk of vandalism, theft or inadvertent damage then if you were to park on the road.

The first step to take when it comes to getting cheaper car insurance is to make sure you shop around for the top deal and the best way to do this may be online as a specialist car insurance website will be able to search the marketplace and find you the best deal.

It is vitally important that you make sure that you are comparing like for like cover as although some policies may appear to be cheaper, you may find that in the event of needing to make a claim, you are not covered in the same way as you were previously.

Other ways to help get you the cheapest car insurance include making sure that only regular drivers are named on the policy as adding more will increase the costs and you can always add someone for a few days if needed which will ultimately work out cheaper.

It is also not wise to add a young, inexperienced driver to your policy as the total premium will still be calculated on the youngest driver. Protect your no-claims bonus may also save you money after a number of years and you could find that some insurers will offer big discounts to those considered to be safer drivers.

Agreeing to pay more towards the cost of any accident repairs will bring down premiums. If you are not at fault in an accident, the excess can be recovered. If you decide to change your car, check with your insurer if the model will have a significant effect on the premium as a sporty car can mean a much higher premium and regularly a slightly different model could save you a considerable amount in comparison.

Lastly, and perhaps the most obvious, drive more carefully and maybe consider taking some new driving courses as many insurers will offer discounts if you have more driving experience. This will enable you to find the cheapest car insurance.

Source : Louis Rix is a Director of NetCars, one of the UK's leading motoring websites. First established in January 2000, it provides car finance, loans and warranty. NetCars also provides a cheap car insurance service.

Family members are often the primary caregivers of people with mental disorders. They provide emotional and physical support, and often have to bear the financial expenses associated with mental health treatment and care. It is estimated that one in four families has at least one member currently suffering from a mental or behavioural disorder. In addition to the obvious distress of seeing a lovedone disabled by the consequences of a mental disorder, family members are also exposed to the stigma and discrimination associated with mental ill health. Rejection by friends, relatives, neighbours and the community as a whole can increase the family’s sense of isolation, resulting in restricted social activities, and the denial of equal participation in normal social networks.

Informal caregivers need more support. The failure of society to acknowledge the burden of mental disorders on affected families means that very little support is available to them. Expenses for the treatment of mental illness are often borne by the family because they are generally not covered by the State or by insurance.

Family members may need to set aside a significant amount of their time to care for a person with a mental disorder. Unfortunately, the lack of understanding on the part of most employers, and the lack of special employment schemes to address this issue, sometimes render it difficult for family members to gain employment or to hold on to an existing job, or they may suffer a loss of earnings due to days taken off from work. This compounds the financial costs associated with treating and caring for someone with a mental disorder.

Source : rainier

8 ways to prevent food poisoning at home

Diposkan oleh rutusibande | 10:01 PM

1. Wash your hands, utensils and food surfaces often

You’ve heard it before, but keeping your hands, utensils and food preparation surfaces clean can prevent cross-contamination — the transfer of harmful bacteria from one surface to another. If harmful bacteria spread to your hands, utensils, cutting boards and other foods, you and others stand a greater chance of ingesting those microorganisms and becoming ill.

Wash your hands thoroughly with warm, soapy water before and after handling or preparing food, especially raw meat, poultry, fish, shellfish and eggs. Then use hot, soapy water to wash the utensils, cutting board and other surfaces you used.

2. Keep raw foods separate from ready-to-eat foods

When shopping, preparing food or storing food, keep raw meat, poultry, fish and shellfish away from other foods. This prevents cross-contamination from one food to another. Here are ideas for keeping foods separated:

  • Separate your meat and poultry products from the rest of your groceries.

  • Tightly wrap raw meat packages in plastic bags so that leaking juices won’t contaminate other food.

  • Use separate cutting boards for raw meats and other ready-to-eat foods such as breads and vegetables.

  • Use one plate for raw meats and use another plate after the meat is cooked.

3. Cook foods to a safe temperature

Cook your food thoroughly. Remember, contaminated food often looks and smells normal. The best way to tell if meat, poultry or egg dishes are cooked to a safe temperature is to use a food thermometer. Using a food thermometer is the only sure way to know if your food has reached a high enough temperature to destroy bacteria. You can kill harmful organisms in most foods by cooking them to temperatures between 140 F and 180 F.

4. Refrigerate or freeze perishable foods promptly

Harmful bacteria can reproduce rapidly if foods aren’t properly cooled. Refrigerate or freeze perishable foods within two hours of purchasing or preparing them. If the room temperature is above 90 F, refrigerate perishable foods within one hour. Freeze ground meat, poultry, fish and shellfish unless you expect to eat it within two days. Freeze other beef, veal, lamb or pork within three to five days.

5. Defrost food safely

Bacteria can reproduce rapidly on meat, poultry and fish at room temperature. So, to defrost food safely, use one of these methods:
  • In the refrigerator. Tightly wrap meat, poultry and fish so the juices don’t drip on other food as they thaw in the refrigerator. Once defrosted, use ground meat, poultry and fish within one or two days, other meat within three to five days.

  • In the microwave. Use the “defrost” or “50 percent power” setting to help avoid cooking the edges of the food while the rest remains frozen. If the meat, poultry or fish is in pieces, separate them during the thawing process to ensure that no areas remain frozen. Cook food immediately after thawing in the microwave.

  • In cold water. Put food in a sealed package or plastic bag and immerse in cold water; change the water every 30 minutes. Or place the sealed food package under cold, running water. Cook food immediately after defrosting.


6. Use caution when serving food

Harmful bacteria can grow rapidly when prepared food sits without proper heating or cooling — especially during buffets or outdoor parties. Here are tips for serving foods safely:
  • Throw out any leftovers that have been at room temperature for more than two hours or in hot weather for more than an hour.

  • If cold food needs to sit out for longer than two hours, use a tray of ice (ice bath) under the food to keep it cold. Replace the ice as it melts. When using an ice bath, try to keep the cold food in a shallow container, as this makes it easier to keep all of the food — including the center — properly chilled.

  • If hot food must sit out for longer than two hours, use warming trays, slow cookers or chafing dishes to keep the food hot.


7. Throw it out when in doubt

If you aren’t sure if a food has been prepared, served or stored safely, discard it. Food left at room temperature too long may contain bacteria or toxins that can’t be destroyed by cooking. Don’t taste food that you’re unsure about — just throw it out. Even if it looks and smells fine, it may not be safe to eat.

8. Know when to avoid certain foods altogether

Food poisoning is especially serious and potentially life-threatening for young children, pregnant women and their fetuses, older adults, and people with weakened immune systems. These individuals are at greatest risk of severe health problems from food poisoning and should take extra precautions by avoiding the following foods:
  • Raw or rare meat and poultry

  • Raw or undercooked fish or shellfish, including oysters, clams, mussels and scallops

  • Raw or undercooked eggs or foods that may contain them, such as cookie dough and homemade ice cream

  • Raw sprouts, such as alfalfa, bean, clover or radish sprouts

  • Unpasteurized juices and ciders

  • Unpasteurized milk and milk products

  • Soft cheeses (such as feta, brie and Camembert), blue-veined cheese and unpasteurized cheese

  • Refrigerated pates and meat spreads

  • Uncooked hotdogs, luncheon meats and deli meats


Source : rainier

The truth behind the label

Diposkan oleh rutusibande | 8:42 PM

Knowing how to read nutrient labels will help you to make better food choices when shopping. Marketing slogans that call a product ‘healthy’ or ‘natural‘ can make a food sound a lot better than the ingredients would merit. When we are too busy we tend to believe what is written on the front of the package, rather than taking the time to read what is on the back. For example, popcorn is considered a great low-fat snack. However, if you buy the microwave or prepared versions, you will find they can be a lot higher in salt and fat than if you buy dried corn and pop it yourself. If advertising can be misleading, let’s have a look at what some of these terms really mean.

A. ‘Lite’ or ‘Light’

This can mean a number of things and not necessarily that the product is lower in kilojoules or fat. Lite potato crisps may be thinly sliced and lightly salted, but they may still contain a high fat content. Light olive oil has a lighter flavour, light beer has less alcohol content, light margarine has less fat, light cheese has less fat and salt. It is important you check the label for what it is that has been ‘lightened’.

B. `Ninety per cent fat free‘

This really means the food contains 10 per cent fat - however, saying it the other way round makes it sound better!

C. `Reduced fat’

This means the food has less fat than its normal version (usually 25-30 per cent). It may not necessarily be low in fat. ‘Low fat’ does not necessarily mean healthy, either, especially if more processing has occurred to reduce the fat content. It is not just the amount of fat but also the type of fat that matters.

D. `Cholesterol free‘ or ‘no cholesterol’

This can be confusing. It does not mean that the product is free of fat.

E. `Fresh’ or ‘natural‘

Both of these terms get overused and abused. ‘Fresh’ should only be applied to foods that do not go through any preserving processes like freezing, canning or high temperatures. ‘Natural‘ is used to give the impression that this product is somehow superior. However, it should only be used when foods are left as close to their natural form as possible, as they exist in nature. That means foods with no additives, colourings or preservatives, unless they are natural themselves.

F. `No artificial colours or flavours’

This is a key selling point for a number of consumers. However, natural food colours, such as beta-carotene, or natural flavour extracts, such as orange and vanilla, can be used.

G. `No MSG’

MSG is a man-made chemical flavour enhancer. It can cause palpitations, headaches, dizziness, numbness and also trigger allergies such as asthma. It can be hidden in many products, such as hydrolysed vegetable protein, yeast extract, seasonings and spices. Many people now suffer from what has become recognised as Chinese Restaurant Syndrome.

H. `No preservatives‘

This generally means that no chemical preservatives are present, although other methods of preservation may have been used, like vacuum sealing or pasteurisation. It often appears on food products as reassurance, even if preservatives are not permitted in that particular food anyway.

I. `Reduced salt‘

This means the food contains 25 per cent less salt than the regular one. It must show the comparison with a reference food. It does not necessarily mean low salt. Watch out for this

J. `No added sugar‘

This means that there is no added cane sugar, glucose, fructose, malt, malt extract, maltose or honey. But it does not mean the product is low in sugar overall, or that no artificial sweetener has been added. Check the ingredients carefully.

K. `High in fibre‘

The food must contain at least 3 g of fibre per serving to be able to make this claim. Whole- grain breakfast cereals and mixed-grain breads fit into this category. Just because it says high in fibre does not mean it is low in sugar. ‘Very high in fibre‘ means it must contain 6 g of fibre per serving.

L. `High in protein’

The food must contain at least 5 g of protein per 100 g. Lean cuts of meat, chicken, eggs, milk and cheese can be in this category

M. `Gluten free‘

There must be no detectable gluten at all for a manufacturer to be able to make this claim. Wheat, rye, barley, oats and malt made from cereals or starch should not be present.

N. `Pure fruit juice‘

To be able to say ‘pure fruit juice‘, it must contain 100 per cent juice and no added water. However, it may contain up to 4 per cent added sugar, depending on seasonal sweetness of the fruit. This would have to be shown on the ingredients list.

O. `Fruit juice drink’

Only 25-50 per cent of the liquid is fruit juice. Most of these are sweetened with sugar and have water or other juices added.

P. `Fruit juice cordial’

Contains a minimum of 25 per cent fruit juice, but only around 5 per cent when made up with water. A lot of cordials also contain added sugar, flavours and colours.

Q. `Fruit drink’

Contains only 5 per cent fruit juice. Check for other ingredients.

R. `Wholemeal‘ bread

Should be made from 100 per cent wholemeal flour, or 90 per cent wholemeal and 10 per cent white flour, but you cannot rely on this figure. Check the label to see how much actual wholemeal content the bread contains. Wholemeal and wheatmeal can mean the same.

S. `Mixed grain’ or multigrain’ bread

There is no specific requirement, but it is usually made from white or wheat flour with added grains mixed in. This bread generally has a lower fibre content than wholemeal bread, but because of the grains, the carbohydrates are longer lasting.

T. `Cold pressed‘

Many oils are now being cold pressed and then solvent extracted. Make sure the label says ‘cold pressed, unrefined’ to get the most natural oil. It is legal to call an oil ‘cold pressed‘ and not mention the solvent extraction.

Source : Arlene

105 Secret Love Inflammatory

Diposkan oleh rutusibande | 7:44 PM

105 Rahasia Kobaran Cinta


Rahasia dari tetangga saya yang sudah menikah rata rata 30+ tahun sampai 40+ tahun. Mereka bukan pasangan yang sempurna dan tidak mengaku sempurna tapi mereka mengaku telah belajar banyak hal dalam perkawinan mereka. Mereka saya minta untuk berbagi rahasia sebuah keluarga yang bahagia, sehat, saling mencintai dan tahan lama.


Sebagai pengantin baru (ciee cieee) rasanya ngeri membaca banyak artikel KOKI yang belakangan ini mengulas mengenai perselingkuhan dan cinta terlarang. Sering saya didekat rumah, melihat pasangan kakek nenek yang masih berjalan bergandeng tanggan tentram rasanya. Kebetulan pasangan pasangan lanjut yang saya kenal juga mempunyai keahlian untuk berbicara mengenai pernikahan. Jadilah beberapa hari ini saya bolak balik main kerumah tetangga tetangga saya buat main berikut membawa note book buat mencatat apa sih rahasia bahagia mereka.


  • Jaga romansa tetap hidup, berkencan lah.

  • Olah raga bersama agar sehat dan terlihat bugar untuk satu sama lain untuk hari, bulan, tahun tahun kedepan.

  • Lakukan tugas rumah bersama.

  • Berbuat dan berkata ke pasangan anda sesuatu yang mengerakan, menginspirasikan dan memotivasi.

  • Setiap hari lakukan sesuatu yang membantu, membangun dan meningkatkan hubungan yang saling mencintai dan baik.

  • Jangan membuka masa lalu, itu telah berlau.

  • Jangan mundur kebelakang; jangan berdikusi apa yang harusnya kita lakukan. Saat ini, diskusi yang diperlukan adalah sekarang bagaimana?

  • Saat berdikusi jangan sok tau, arrogan atau mempersulit. Jaga open-minded dan ingat ini adalah saat berdiskusi bukan ceramah.

  • Saat di koreksi, dengar, belajar dan biarkan. Ini adalah saat belajar untuk anda masing masing, waktu untuk tumbuh. Maka, jangan membela diri tapi membuka diri, rendah hati. Ingat anda tidak sempurna.

  • Jika anda perlu ngengoreksi lakukan dengan senyum, tidak menghakimi, sayang dan dengan nada suara penuh kasih. Ingat anda tidak sempurna juga. 

  • Jangan pernah menggunakan kata cerai saat berantem.

  • Jangan juga gunakan kata perpisaahan saat berantem.

  • Masalah dapat membuat pernikahan anada lebih baik, lebih kuat, dan makin penuh cinta. Masalah akan selalu ada maka sambutlah dengan sikap “kita akan melaluinya”….. dan ini akan memperkuat cinta kita.

  • Bersama-sama, berkembang secara mental, spiritual, physical …. Bersama.

  • Saat berkumpul bersama teman teman ingat pasangan anda. Ikut sertakan pasangan anda bila dia ada disana. 

  • Jangan terperangkap pada hal hal yang anda dapat kan seperti jabatan, tingkat pendidikan, dan penghargaan. Ini adalah hal dan satu dari hal hal yang dapat menempatkan diri anda merasa lebih tinggi dari pasangan anda.

  • Ingat, untuk istri anda pangkat anda yang paling penting adalah; “Ini suami saya.” Untuk suami ; ini Istri saya.

  • Jangan menggagap serius diri sendiri; tak masalah siapa anda, atau apa yang anda miliki, atau apa yang akan anda dapatkan dimasa depan. Yang terpenting adalah pasangan anda.  Ini bukan tentang dimana anda tinggal, bagaimana anda hidup, apa mobil anda, atau apa yang anda pakai. Jangan biarkan hal hal ini mendefinisikan tingkat dan kualitas pernikahan anda dan cinta anda satu sama lain.

  • Jika anda merasa kurang bahagia dengan pernikahan anda, sisihkan waktu sekarang untuk melakukan sesuatu yang baik untuk pasangan anda.

  • Menyisihkan waktu untuk membuat pasangan anda bahagia, akan menambah kebahagiaan anda.

  • Saat anda punya masalah, taruh dalam pandangan dan jangan biarkan menginfeksi area lain dalam perkawinan anda yang berjalan dengan baik.

  • Hitung berkat anda dan anda akan terkejut betapa terberkatinya anda.

  • Berhenti saling menunjuk dan menyalahkan. 

  • Pornography dalam perkawinan anda bagaikan sebuah pernikahan tiga orang. Dan, Orang ketiga akan menghancurkan perkawinan anda. 

  • Jangan menyimpan grudges (apa sih grudges? Ganjelan dihati kali ya he he eh).

  • Stop selalu bicara tentang diri anda dan dengarkan pasangan anda.

  • Kembangkan sikap “persilahkan istri anda dahulu.”

  • Menjadi tak bahagia dalam pernikahan adalah sebuah pilihan. Menjadi bahagia pun sebuah pilihan.

  • Stop selalu memikirkan tentang diri anda. 

  • Jaga bau badan anda, semua bagian!

  • Jangan ketempat tidur dalam keadaan marah.

  • Pertengkaran adalah misunderstanding, bukan pertengkaran.

  • Kembangkan kebiasaan “membuka pintu untuk istri anda”

  • Teruskan acara berkencan, pilih satu hari dalam satu minggu untuk berkencan secara teratur; setiap minggu, bulan, tahun.

  • Jangan memanggil nama.

  • Saat berantem focus pada masalah bukan orang untuk dijadikan kambing hitam.

  • Berkali kali dalam sehari, puji pasangan. 

  • Biasakan bergandengan tanggan saat berjalan, tak masalah berapa usia anda.

  • Jangan bawa mantan mantan pacar.

  • Jangan melirik perempuan lain……Bukan begitu caranya!

  • Jangan melirik Laki laki lain…..Bukan begitu caranya.

  • Sesibuk apa pun, sempatkan waktu untuk duduk bersama untuk memandang, berbicara  dan mendengarkan pada pasangan anda walaupun hanya 20 menit setiap hari.

  • Peluk dan cium pasangan anda berkali kali dalam sehari.

  • Jangan menelfon ayah, ibu, kakak atau sahabat anda untuk membicarakan masalah anda dengan pasangan.  Datang lah kepasangan anda secara langsung atau konselor perkawinan atau orang keagamaan. Keluarga dan teman selalu condong pada pihak anda- karna mereka sayang anda- yang dapat membuat masalah lebih besar dan lebih buruk.

  • Dengar kan pasangan anda dengan mata, telinga, seluruh tubuh dan dan hati anda.

  • Sebelum memutuskan sesuatu ingat ada dua opini dalam setiap kisah. 

  • Jangan bicara mengenai wanita lain….. bukan begitu caranya!

  • Jangan bicara mengenai pria lain…… Bukan begitu caranya!

  • Hindari kata kata yang kasar;  itu menyakitkan, tidak menghormati pasangan, dan menggampangkan.

  • Jangan ada rahasia! Jika ketahuan, dan pastilah ketahuan suatu hari dan kepercayaan akan pergi…

  • Jangan pernah berbohong! Jika anda berbohong, kepercayaan akan sulit untuk kembali dan pasangan anda kan selalu berfikir; “ dan apalagi…?’

  • Jujur. Jangan terlibat dalam sesuatu yang anda harus tutupi dengan berbohong. Jika anda melakukannya, itu menyatakan bahwa anda melakukan sesuatu yang tak baik. 

  • Masaklah buat pasangan anda secara teratur.

  • Jangan lupa dengan ulang tahun dan tanggal istimewa yang berarti buat pasangan anda.

  • Tiap hari, lakukan sesuatu untuk istri anda, dalam cara sederhana seperti merapikan tempat tidur  dll ataupun hal yang besar. Melakukan sesuatu yang tidak egois adalah romantic.

  • Jangan bicara dengan nada yang kasar, jangan pernah.

  • Menghormati 24/7

  • Katakan anda mencintai pasangan anda, selalu.

  • Berdoa bersama setiap hari. 

  • Saat menggunakan kamar mandi, sisihkan waktu untuk meninggalkan kamar mandi bersih dan wangi.

  • Kamar tidur anda seharusnya terlihat rapi  dan harum seperti hotel bintang 5.

  • Pergi bersama beberapa kali dalam setahun dan sisihkan semalam di hotel atau kunjungi tempat memory honeymoon anda. Jangan menunggu sampai anda pension. Nikmati waktu dengan pasangan…. Nunggu kapan lagi?

  • Sisihkan waktu untuk melihat  apa yang pasangan anda sukai atau hobby nya.

  • Jangan tanya: kamu butuh bantuan? Tapi segera lakukan apa yang anda bisa bantu.

  • Selalu, lakukan hal yang special untuk mertua dan keluarga dari pasangan anda, kemudian jangan ungkit ungkit di masa depan dengan pasangan anda.

  • Jika anda melakukan sesuatu untuk pasangan anda, jangan gunakan sebagai senjata untuk menunjukan sesuatu atau menang dalam sebuah pertikaian.

  • Sering, lakukan lah hal yang baik untuk orang lain bersama pasangan anda.

  • Jika anda bilang akan melakukan sesuatu buat pasangan anda, lakukan lah.

  • Jangan terbiasa mengganti rencana.

  • Jangan gunaka kata” benci” untuk menunjukan sesuatu yang pasangan anda suka, tapi anda tidak suka. “ menarik” adalah kata yang lebih baik. 

  • Jangan pernah membuat pasangan anda marah atau menangis. Tugas kita adalah membuat satu sama lain bahagia.

  • Jangan menggunakan pasangan anda sebagai bahan gurauan dan olok olok.

  • Jangan perpermalukan pasangan anda didepan orang.

  • Tulis note pada pasangan anda sesering mungkin.

  • Buatlah catatan mengenai kenangan saat berdua dan buka kenangan itu sesering mungkin.

  • Jangan memakai kata yang kasar atau vulgar pada pasangan anda. Itu merenggangkan hubungan dan merugikan anda sendiri.

  • Ingat selalu alasan anda menikah dengan pasangan anda.

  • Jika anda punya anak; ingatlah mereka memperhatikan, mempelajari dan meniru orangtua mereka.

  • Jangan pernah bicara hal buruk didepan pasangan ataupun dibelakang pasangan anda. 

  • Jangan pernah sendirian di dalam mobil/motor atau ruangan dengan seorang wanita (untuk suami) atau pria (untuk istri). Ini adalah hal sepele tapi awal yang mengarah ke hal yang tidak baik. Jika anda perlu berada di dalam ruangan bersama seseorang dari gender yang berbeda biarkan pintu terbuka sedikit atau tutup dengan sepengetahuan orang yang ada diluar ruangan.

  • Jika seseorang berlainan gender dari anda datang dan menceritakan masalah mereka  mengenai pasangan mereka (apalagi sampai menangis), ambil buku telpon dan sarankan untuk menelfon orang keagamaan atau konsultan, seseorang yang berkeahlian dalam hal ini dan harapkan yang terbaik buat mereka. Lagi, hal ini hal yang sepele yang dapat mengarah ke hal hal yang tidak baik.

  • Suami,persahabatan dekat dengan wanita berakhir setelah anda menikah. Begitu pula dengan istri. Pasangan adalah sahabat terdekat anda setelah menikah. 

  • Pornoghrapy adalah salah satu mode perselingkuhan dalam pernikahan.

  • Cinta adalah kata kata dan artinya berdasar pada perbuatan anda.

  • Jangan membandingkan pasangan anda dengan orang lain, tidak baik.

  • Selalu bilang tolong, terimakasih, dan kembali. Kesopanan penting tak berpengaruh berapa lama anda sudah menikah. Kata kata yang sederhana, baik dan penuh hormat ini tidak akan kadarluarsa.

  • Selalu bilang cinta, jangan beranggapan pasangan anda sudah tahu. Puji pasangan anda sesering mungkin. 

  • Jangan tidur di tempat tidur dan atau ruangan berbeda, kecuali disarankan dokter karna penyakit.

  • Sebuah ciuman di pagi hari, ciuman sebelum kerja, dan ciuman selamat malam hal yang keharusan.

  • Jadilah yang pertama meminta maaf.

  • Mudahlah memaafkan pasangan dan melupakan kesalahannya.

  • Dengan cinta anda akan bisa melalui segalanya. 

  • Berbincang bincang lah satu sama lain sesering mungkin. Ayah saya bisa menelfon ibu saya lebih dari 10 kali dalam sehari.

  • Pastikan pasangan anda tahu dimana anda berada; beritahu kan perubahan pada jatwal anda atau keterlambatan yang mungkin terjadi. Jangan biar kan pasangan anda memikirkan dimana ya anda saat ini.

  • Egois dan memikirkan diri sendiri tidak ada tempat untuk itu dalam pernikahan.

  • Jangan terjebak dalam materi, dan hal hal lain. Hal itu bisa menjadi lebih penting dari pada hubungan dan pernikahan anda dengan pasangan.

  • Jangan mudah marah pada hal yang sepele. Kemarahan tidak punya tempat di pernikahan. 

  • Selalu terlihat cantik/tampan dan berpenampilan terbaik untuk pasangan anda.

  • Jangan terbiasa nyaman dengan berantakan.

  • Jika anda kelebihan berat badan cobalah untuk hilangkan.

  • Jika anda depresi, lakukan sesuatu minta bantuan ahli dan kembalikan sinar anda dalam hidup anda dan perkawinan anda.

  • Tetap modis untuk pasangan ana.

  • Saat hidup jadi berat, jangan menyerah. 

  • Masak lah bersama, makan bersama, baca bersama, beribadah bersama. Lakukan hal bersama sesering mungkin.

  • Support pasangan anda dalam aktivitasnya. Perlihatkan ketertarikan akan aktivitas pasangan anda walaupun anda tidak benar benar tertarik.

  • Rendah hatilah, jangan pernah menaikan nada suara anda, itu tak perlu.

  • Jangan pernah memukul pasangan anda, itu adalah kriminalitas.

  • Jika pertikaian jadi panas, jalan jalan sebentar sampai kepala anda dingin, jangan mengatakan sesuatu yang menyakitkan pasangan dan membuat anda menyesal kemudian hari. Perkataan menyakitkan akan meninggalkan bekas yang dalam.

  • Memakai narkoba, minuman keras adalah hal yang bodoh, seperti melumuri pernikahan anda dengan bensin.


Source : Sara Dahlia - Kompas Community

10 Tips Relax muscle

Diposkan oleh rutusibande | 3:30 AM

Muscles feel tired because of too many sports? All you need is a rest or relaxation for your muscles. This is needed to make muscles grow stronger and better. Want to know how?

1. Breathe

But not any breathing techniques to breathe with the truth. This can be done after your sport or dikala You want to go to sleep. Focus on your breath, breathe in, exit and entry. When you exhale the breath, think about that all the fatigue and stress on the muscles involved with the flow out of breath you.

2. Stretching

Make a strech shortly after the sport done. For each of the muscles, stretch for 15-30 seconds and try not to impose ourselves to pain. There are several ways stretching, one of them is with a stand or sit and bow until fingers touch your foot.

3. Sleep

Who does not want to sleep soundly at night? Sleep is not only good for the mental but also very much needed by the muscle. Poor sleep can cause stress on the muscles and make them tense. Try sleeping 7 hours at night and 20 minutes in the afternoon.

4. Depending on the upside

This sounds as a way that does not always make for muscle relaxation. But let the gravity do its work, your muscles will be free from feeling tense. Done sports, find a comfortable place for you to 'stand upside down'. The feet should be on top. But remember, do not be too long in this position!

5. Set routines

As well you exercise, your muscles will not relax if you so tight routine and forcing muscles work continuously. In at least one full week of a very busy, try to have two days where the total rest your muscles. If you really need to sport every day, set schedule breaks every three hours. Sunday free one per three months is a good tolerance for the muscles.

6. Massage

This is most comfortable for relax the muscle. After exercise, the massage is done correctly will be very good for the muscles tense. While a massage, you can train while breathing. Fun!

7. Bathroom

Bathroom is very good for improving blood circulation and mentransportasikan oxygen and nutrition to muscles. Washing is done at both the afternoon or night after the sport. Options bath tub is not only common but more to the berendam, sauna or steam during the 10-15 minutes.

8. Green Tea

This is very easy to do and you can add in the schedule of your daily routine. Green tea contains aktioksidan to remove free radicals. A cup of green tea a day can help you relaks muscle.

9. Acupuntur

The style of ancient Chinese treatment is able to cure many diseases and of course can make muscle relaks. Find a specialist who Akupuntur 'know what he's doing' so that the target point and its correct practice is correct.

10. Magnesium

The most muscle you need to relaks is magnesium. Therefore there is no one consume magnesium supplements every day. If you are not the type pengkonsumsi supplements, get magnesium in the red rice, spinach, almon and nuts. Basically, there must be Feed 400-420 mg magnesium in your body every day.